段子
昨天14岁的侄女跟我在QQ上哭诉，昨晚与交往三周的男友分手。 痛不欲生，并劝戒我：小姨，原来爱情这么伤！还感叹道：问世间情为何物,直叫人生死相许！然后接着说：你23岁都没有谈恋爱实在是明智的决定啊。
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
人与人之间的关系以“我可以认识你吗”开始，以“我他妈算是认识你了”结束。。
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
一个男人对女友说：“如果你结婚的那天新郎不是我，我就会把我们的那些暧昧的聊天记录、短信、电话录音、相片什么的都弄成CD寄给你老公，然后上面写着：给你一张过去的CD，听一听那时我们的爱情。”女友非常感动，答应了他的求婚。结果，婚礼当天，那男人收到了一堆CD。
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
男友总夸奖我“手如柔荑,肤如凝脂”今天我炖了猪蹄，他问我：“你知道有学问的人叫猪蹄是什么？”我说了“猪手、猪爪子”等等他都摇头。我百思不得其解，男友一本正经的说：“《诗经》上的猪蹄子，叫柔荑。
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
某教授在田间授课：“科学研究要不怕脏……”然后他蹲下来，用手指戳了一下地上的牛粪，然后把手指放到嘴里舔净。一同学忙说：“我不怕脏……”然后也用手指戳了一下地上的牛粪放到嘴里舔净教授：“另外还要善于观察，我刚才是用中指戳粪，但舔的是食指……”
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
一个热爱看侦探片的影迷，在电影开演前拒绝了一个服务生推销的各种小食品，结果电影刚开演，那个服务生就凑到他耳边低声说：这个人就是凶手！
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
【怎样拿到腾讯的钱】腾讯入股58同城当日，王小川在朋友圈转一段子。"阿里公布股票代码为BABA后，马化腾感觉让人骑在了头上，为平息小马哥怒火，腾讯投资部紧急开会商讨对策，最后终于想到办法，收购58同城，因为其股票代码是WUBA！无BA！" 很快马化腾在下面调侃："原来是这样啊!"
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
【这不是段子，但这绝对是一个段子手女司机的真实故事】前不久成都交警在九眼桥设卡查酒驾，一20岁出头女司机被拦下后问交警：受伤了用酒精消毒算不算酒驾？ 交警告诉她，这不算酒驾，并表示关心，询问她伤到哪了，是否要帮助。不料女车主回答：伤了心。交警：停车，熄火，驾驶证……
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
＂为什么520除以3除不尽＂＂因为爱情是容不下小三的＂＂错，因为小三是除不尽的＂
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
一日去庙里烧香，见大师正在打坐，就想用段子调戏一下。我突然坐到大师面前，厉声喝道：“我知道你的秘密了！”只见大师先是吃惊地睁开眼睛，然后又缓缓闭上：“让贫僧死个明白，少侠的老婆是哪位？”
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
岳母势利，第一次跟女朋友到他家，他妈就问，你做什么工作的？家境怎么样，家中几人？我刚想回答，女友就说了，他是独子，家境殷实，家有车辆几十辆，基本都是进口的，房子几十栋，基本都是别墅，不说他家一年挣多少钱，生意不好一天进出几千万没问题！她妈听的眼珠子都直了，我在一边挠头，尼玛我一开祭品店的搁不住你这样夸！
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
【数学是最浪漫的】“9对3说，我除了你，还是你；4对2说，我除了2，还是2；1对0说，我除了你，一切都没有意义；0对1说，我除了你，就是孤独的自己 。”数学是最浪漫的，它比世上任何东西都要完美，它从不说谎，也不会背叛。
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
一对夫妇庆祝金婚。丈夫喝了几杯后和妻子说：“对不起啊，我对你不诚实，这么多年了，我一直没告诉你，其实我是色盲！”妻子激动得说：“我也对不起你呀，这么多年了，我一直瞒着你，其实我是黑人！
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
一日，听到朋友与其女友吵架，其女友：“你给我滚！”朋友：“好，滚远了，你别叫我回来！”其女友：“又没叫你直线滚，叫你来回滚！来回滚……”
吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 together, naturally
I had a dream, I had an awesome dream People in the OL 吐槽 in the OL And what they 吐槽 Was a masquerade But from behind the walls of doubt
A voice was crying out 吐 you, 吐 me 吐槽 for always That's the way it should be 吐 you, 吐 me
吐槽 together, naturally As we go down life's lonesome highway Seems the hardest thing to do
Is to find a friend or two That helping hand
Someone who understands
